


5-4-1

by Meicdon13



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Sports, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 15:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2197386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meicdon13/pseuds/Meicdon13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The only people who don’t think Nataku and Goku should be sleeping together are the people who think they already <em>are</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5-4-1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [genkisakka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/genkisakka/gifts).



> Prompt was, "Nataku/Goku or Goku/Nataku, present day. They’re up-and-coming soccer players whose friendly rivalry masks some serious sexual attraction. Bonus points for a locker room shower hookup," for 7thnight_smut 2014.
> 
> I have no idea how professional sports work, oops. Also! Just a heads up; I used gender-neutral pronouns for Kanzeon here. Apologies if it’s jarring. Finished 21 July 2014.
> 
> Please enable the fic's Work Skin. The skin used is slightly modified from one coded by [Charity_Angel](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Charity_Angel/pseuds/Charity_Angel).

Nataku was not gay for Goku’s dick, no matter what the rest of the team said. Just because he didn’t feel like hanging out with eighteen sweaty dudes after soccer practice and was more interested in sleeping over at Goku’s place, that didn’t mean he was gay for Goku’s dick.

Of course Nataku and Goku spent most of their time outside of practice together; they’d been friends before becoming part of the team and were the best players in the team, period. Goku was the only one who could really keep up with Nataku on the field and while he liked the rest of the team just fine when they weren’t trying to put him and Goku in compromising situations, Goku was the only he really felt a deep connection with. A deep friendly connection. Emphasis on ‘friendly.’

None of that mattered, though, because based on his exes, Goku was pretty straight. Nataku hadn’t seen Pippi for a while—she and her brother had moved, which was mostly why she’d broken it off with Goku—but Goku was on pretty good terms with her _and_ Lirin. Goku wasn’t the type to hold back talking to Nataku about people he found attractive. And those people had all been girls.

Nataku dumped the contents of his duffel bag onto the bed in the guest room. Goku had talked him into staying over for the entire weekend and he’d brought more stuff than he usually would. Normally Nataku would’ve just stayed overnight, but Konzen was apparently off visiting his aunt, and was therefore not around to shoot him judgmental and suspicious looks every time they were in the same room together.

Dinner was pizza and soda (their team nutritionist would have a heart attack, but she wasn’t around to tell them off anyway) while they watched a mindlessly violent movie on TV. In the middle of yet another well-choreographed action sequence, Goku elbowed Nataku. “Hey. Did the delivery guy really ask for your autograph?”

Nataku shrugged. “Better than asking for a picture. Less creepy.”

“My fans aren’t creepy! Just ‘cause they wanna take photos with me instead of asking for my signature—!”

It was an argument they’d had many times before. Nataku focused on the easy banter instead of how good Goku looked with his hair still damp from the shower and wearing a ridiculously huge shirt that was falling off one shoulder. Or how good Goku smelled. Or how the oil from the pizza gleamed on his lips.

Shit. Maybe it would’ve been better if Konzen _were_ around.

*****

Nataku stumbled into the kitchen just as Goku finished putting the plates of food on the table. “You’re up early,” he mumbled, seconds before he let out a huge yawn. He practically flopped into the chair across from Goku’s.

Goku shrugged. “I woke up hungry so I decided to start makin’ breakfast.” He got a pitcher of juice out of the fridge and placed it on the table between them. “Besides, you’re up early too.”

Nataku made a face at him. “How am I supposed to stay asleep when I can smell bacon cooking?”

Goku snorted. “You got a point.” Goku sat down as well, and was about to dig into his scrambled eggs when he felt his phone buzz inside his pajama pocket.

You gotten laid yet?

Goku glanced in Nataku’s direction, making sure he was too engrossed in scarfing down half the bacon to notice him texting. Haha very funny

Barely half a minute went by before Lirin’s reply came in. I’m telling you he wants to do the nasty with you!

Goku didn’t even bother to reply. It was a waste of time getting his hopes up, even when Lirin kept insisting that she could tell that Nataku was “totally hungry for his ass.” She wasn’t really that much better than him at picking up these kinds of things. These not-so-friendly-affections kinds of things that totally weren’t there in the first place anyway.

“Who wazzat?” Nataku asked, question slightly muffled by a mouthful of eggs.

“Just Dad. Wanted to make sure we hadn’t trashed the place yet.” He kicked Nataku’s shin. “Also, dude, gross. Keep your mouth shut when you chew.”

Nataku kicked him back but closed his mouth anyway.

The rest of breakfast passed in comfortable silence. The kitchen table was small enough that everything was within reach, and Goku tried not to fidget every time his fingers accidentally brushed against Nataku when they went to get more bacon or reached for the pitcher at the same time. He also tried not to notice how Nataku’s shoulder-length hair looked in the morning light, but it was kind of hard not to, especially since Nataku had his back to the window and it looked like he had a damn halo.

Goku’s phone buzzed again. If you’re not replying because you’re gettin some congrats! He barely managed to suppress a groan. He shoved his phone back into his pocket and went back to eating.

*****

“Nataku!”

Nataku sighed. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the rest of the team trying not to laugh at his expense as they continued stretching. He jogged over to where Li Touten was standing by the benches. “Yes, Dad?”

Li Touten brandished a bottle of water at him. “Are you properly hydrated?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Do not rush through your stretches. They’re important if you want to perform the rest of the exercises correctly.”

“Yes, Dad. I know.”

Only years of soccer experience prevented Nataku from falling flat on his face when Li Touten suddenly grabbed his shoulders and spun him around. “Pull up your shirt. I want to put this hand towel on your back.”

“Dad, I’m almost nineteen—”

“And you’re sweating like a pig. It’s unsightly.”

Goku was practically flat on his back, his shirt pulled up to cover his face while he tried to muffle his laughter. The rest of the team wasn’t much better; Nataku heard what sounded like a dying whale. He sighed in defeat.

Li Touten was, sadly, a constant presence at the field. During practice, he stood like a particularly obsessive watchdog beside Nataku’s gear, driving off anyone who got “too close” or anyone who looked like they would try and steal his stuff to sell on the Internet. During games, he insisted on waving obnoxiously large signs with Nataku’s name on them, usually with an expression that would be more suited to watching Nataku march off into battle rather than into a soccer match.

“ _Dad_ ,” Nataku said (he didn’t whine). Grown men quickly rising through the popularity ranks to become famous international sports stars didn’t whine.

Li Touten made sure the towel was in place and quickly dumped baby powder on Nataku’s back. “Done.”

Nataku jogged back to where the rest of the team had recovered enough to continue their warm-up routine. Goku looked up at him with a shit-eating grin from where he was sitting on the ground, stretching his hamstrings. “Daddy let you go pretty quick this time.”

Nataku kicked at Goku’s head, not even bothering to dial down the force behind it. Goku avoided it easily. Nataku was gearing up for another kick when the shrill sound of a whistle cut through the team’s chatter. Coach Jiroushin marched out onto the field, his clipboard cradled against his chest.

Jiroushin’s strength as a coach lay in the fact that he was able to remember and keep track of the minute details of every member’s training regimen, strengths, and stats. He was also kind of nitpicky and nervous and he could be a buzzkill pretty often. But all in all, he was a pretty decent guy. Either way, Nataku liked him better than assistant coach Bosatsu. At least he didn’t keep making side comments about Nataku’s non-existent boner for Goku. Assistant coach Bosatsu was the reason why the whole team thought they were banging in the first place.

“Time for a practice match,” Jiroushin announced. “I want to see if you actually grasped the new strategies we talked about last time.” He quickly separated them into two groups, ticking their names off a list on his clipboard.

“Hope you’re ready to lose!” Goku shouted.

“That’s my line!” Nataku yelled back.

Goku had the superior strength and endurance, but Nataku had the benefit of greater speed and agility. When they were on the same team they complemented each other’s skills perfectly—the team as a whole moved with almost military precision, each member knowing his role and perfectly comfortable in it—but against one another it was hard to say which one was better.

Playing against one another always started out light-hearted, Nataku and Goku trading quips whenever they got close enough to each another, but the longer the game went on, the more serious they became. There had been times (thankfully few) during previous practice sessions that the rest of the team had to practically sit on Goku to restrain him from confronting Nataku, growling about a foul he insisted Nataku had committed. Nataku, on the other hand, got really quiet and scarily intense. He’d never had to be restrained, but that was mostly because nobody had the balls to touch him when he got like that.

Halfway through practice, it started raining heavily. It didn’t take long before the grass was slippery and the ground was more soft mud than solid dirt. Nataku had to concentrate even harder on his gameplay. He found himself slowly slipping into that state where everything looked like it was moving in slow motion.

He twisted to avoid running into his opponent, switching the ball to his other foot. There was a clear path to the goal and he made a run for it. Practice was almost over, and if he could score, he could break the tie and their team would win. Almost effortlessly, he took aim and kicked.

The goalie leaped to the side to try and block the ball, but Nataku could see that he wouldn’t make it. Time seemed to speed up again when he heard his teammates’ victorious shouts and Jiroushin’s whistle. He turned around and spotted Goku jogging up to him. “Told you it was my line,” he said evenly.

He could see that Goku was still a bit hyped up on the adrenaline from the fight; his eyes were narrowed and he snarled more than said, “Wait until next time. I’ll definitely kick your ass then.”

Nataku raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything else. He walked towards the benches where Li Touten was waiting, a huge umbrella keeping him dry.

“Your … friendship with him is a distraction,” Li Touten said.

Nataku didn’t say anything.

“You will lose sight of your goals.”

Nataku prodded a clump of mud with the tip of his shoe. This wasn’t new. Every other week Li Touten went off on a dramatic monologue about how Nataku had to cut ties with Goku because he couldn’t afford any distractions if he wanted to be the Best Soccer Player in the World. Nataku had stopped trying to interrupt after the first ten times.

*****

“Stop making faces at your boyfriend and start posing!” Sanzo snapped.

“Uncle Sanzo! He’s not my boyfriend!” Goku groaned.

“Don’t call me ‘uncle’!”

“Don’t call him my boyfriend!”

Behind Sanzo, Nataku stuck his tongue out before collapsing into silent laughter. Sanzo twisted around, scowling. “Go be annoying somewhere else!” Nataku made another face at Goku when Sanzo looked away before running off to the long table where food was laid out for the crew.

Shoots for product endorsements were probably one of the stupidest things Goku had to deal with. He kept telling his agent that he wasn’t interested in being the spokesperson for some cologne or brand of jeans, but his agent kept waving off his complaints. “You can’t be the number one soccer player in the world if nobody knows who you are!” Which was more of Nataku’s dad’s philosophy, but that was probably why Li Touten had hired the guy to represent Nataku too.

Today was mostly headshots for some new men’s facial wash or something. Which sucked even more than usual because that meant the camera was just focused on their face and it made everything super awkward. For even more awkwardness, the photographer was Konzen’s younger brother, Sanzo.

“I’ve got enough happy shots on this roll of film,” Sanzo said. “Do that intense expression instead.”

Goku grimaced. “I feel stupid when I make that face.”

“I don’t give a shit. That face sells product. Now do it or I’ll tell your dad what really happened to his paperwork last week.”

Pouting never got Goku anywhere with Sanzo, not even when Goku had been a kid and therefore way chubbier and cuter. So he decided to just man up and do the stupid face that women and gay men all over the world apparently loved.

He tilted his chin down slightly and narrowed his eyes. One side of his mouth quirked up in a smirk. Sanzo started snapping photographs in rapid succession, barking the occasional order to tilt his head at a different angle, make the smirk wider or smaller, to open his mouth a bit or show some more teeth.

Sanzo paused for a moment to fiddle with his camera’s settings. “Now do that other face. And don’t complain that it makes you look crazy. I’ve heard you whining about it before.”

“But it _does_!”

“You make that damn face in the middle of every damn game!”

When Sanzo finally announced that he had enough shots of Goku’s ugly mug, Goku sulked off towards the table with food. Nataku already had a plate full of sandwiches waiting for him and he took it gratefully. “Thanks,” he groaned, copying Nataku and leaning against the wall as well.

He took a bite of a roast beef sandwich and grumbled, “This is so stupid. This isn’t even the brand of facial wash I use.”

Nataku laughed at him. “You use facial wash?”

Goku took a moment to appreciate how much better Nataku looked when he was laughing. Not that he was bad-looking in the first place. Not that Goku was checking him out enough to notice what Nataku looked like when he was just relaxing or reading or eating or whatever. Friends knew what friends looked like because they hung out together.

Okay, so maybe he had the teeny tiniest bit of a crush on Nataku. And maybe he did miss how long his hair used to be before Li Touten had made him cut it because “no self-respecting professional athlete would have waist-length hair.” Which was stupid because Nataku’s hair was great; it smelled good, it looked awesome, and Goku was pretty sure it was soft. Not that he would know. But it looked soft.

But just because Goku maybe liked Nataku as more than a friend, didn’t mean that he was going to do anything about it. First of all, Nataku seemed pretty uninterested in the romantic relationship thing as a whole. In all the years they’d known one another, Goku had never seen Nataku ever getting a crush on _anyone_. And Goku didn’t even know if Nataku was interested in dating guys.

“Excuse me …” Goku was brought out of his thoughtful chewing when a nervous girl approached them. She was wearing an ID that identified her as a lighting assistant. “I was wondering if I could, um, take a picture of you guys? I mean—it’s totally cool if you say no, it’s just, my girlfriend and I are huge fans—”

“It’s cool,” Goku said, grinning. Nataku straightened up as well and moved closer. “So, you wanna stand in the middle or …?”

The girl blushed. “Oh. Oh no, just the two of you in the picture, if that’s alright.”

Nataku and Goku smiled as she took the picture with her phone’s camera. Being approached by fans for a picture wasn’t really anything new, but they usually wanted to be in the frame as well. “Did it turn out okay?” Goku asked.

The girl’s smile grew a bit more confident. “It’s awesome! Thanks again for letting me take your picture. And …” She took a deep breath. “And I just wanted to say that it’s really great that you guys act like being gay isn’t such a big deal. Like, you’re just together and there’s no special press about it or _anything_ because really there’s no difference between a straight couple or gay couple. Seeing you two together gave me the strength to ask my girlfriend out in the first place. So. Thanks.” Before Goku and Nataku could do anything aside from stare at her, she ran off, face completely red.

Goku blinked and slowly turned to face Nataku. “Pinch me.”

Nataku still looked like he was in shock, but he reached out and pinched Goku’s arm. Hard.

“Ow!” Goku cried out. “Dammit. It wasn’t a hallucination.”

Nataku ran a hand through his hair. “Do people really think we’re boyfriends?”

Sanzo appeared beside them, a cup of coffee in his hand. Goku prayed that he hadn’t overheard the girl’s rambling. “You can stop pretending you’re not boning one another,” he huffed. He sent a narrow-eyed look at Goku. “I’m sure Konzen won’t lose his shit.” He paused. “Much.” Sanzo walked back to the set before he got a response.

His uncle did not just tell him (in his own weird way) that he was supportive of Goku’s (non-existent) romantic relationship with Nataku. Goku covered his face with his hands and groaned.

*****

Nataku spent the majority of the next day lurking online on Twitter and Tumblr and Instagram and Facebook and a bunch of other social media websites, waiting for the picture of him and Goku to pop up. If the girl decided to add any sort of message about them being “inspirational,” he was going to comment/reblog/retweet/whatever _right away_ and set things straight. He didn’t want the issue to grow bigger and get out of hand, or Li Touten might just have a heart attack.

After three days of nothing, he decided that maybe the girl was going to keep the picture for herself and her girlfriend and not share it with the Internet. Thank god.

He heard the familiar sound of a Facebook private message notification and exited the tab where his Tumblr was open. Goku had sent him a PM. Gym?

I’m going tomorrow. Was thinking of jogging today. Wanna come with?

Sure.

They agreed to meet up at the park that was roughly halfway between their houses. Nataku grabbed his water bottle, wallet, and keys after a quick change of clothes. He debated on whether or not to bring his phone and decided not to; that way Li Touten wouldn’t be able to call him and nag him to come home. He shoved his wallet and keys into the small fanny pack that Goku periodically made fun of (Nataku hated the feeling of things bouncing around in his pockets when he ran, and either way, he was wearing running shorts today, not jogging pants) and exited the house.

By the time he got there, Goku was already jogging in place by the benches they usually met up at.

Nataku had kept up a brisk walk all the way to the park, so he didn’t need much time to warm up. “Just gimme a minute to stretch,” he said. He paused in the middle of stretching his calves, and glanced up at Goku. “Dude, are you choking?”

“I’m fine, fine. Totally fine.” Honestly, Goku sounded like he was hacking up a lung. He waved off Nataku’s question. “Just swallowed wrong—water went down the wrong pipe.”

Nataku raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. He finished up his stretches and straightened up. “Last one to finish ten laps buys lunch?”

“You’re on!”

Goku later insisted that the only reason that Nataku won was because he started jogging before Goku could recover from his choking fit. Nataku insisted that Goku was lagging behind pretty much the whole time. And just because Goku had run into a tree, it didn’t mean Nataku had to stop and help him out or slow down.

*****

He was wearing really tight shorts and I was distracted by his ass!!! Goku texted furiously.

It took Lirin forever to reply (Did you really run into a tree roflmao), probably because she’d died laughing at his expense. Goku wondered why he bothered keeping in touch with her. She spent way more time making fun of him than actually helping.

Goku sighed and stowed away his phone. The game was starting in less than thirty minutes, and he needed to get ready. Maybe he could give her the stink eye once he went out into the field; she usually grabbed seats near enough to the field for her to yell encouragement at him and for him to actually hear her.

“Hurry up and get dressed, boys!”

In his rush to grab a towel to wrap around his waist, Goku banged his head against his locker door. The rest of the team was in a similar state of panic and flurry.

“Oh, please. I’ve seen enough dangly bits in my time.” Assistant coach Bosatsu breezed into the locker room as if they weren’t walking in on a bunch of men in various states of undress and stood right in the middle.

“I’m here to give you the pre-game pep talk or whatever it is darling Jiroushin usually does when he’s not at home with a fever.” They swept their unusually steely gaze around the room, and Goku was reminded of the time that Bosatsu had punched an opposing team’s coach so hard that he’d been unconscious before he even hit the ground. “Try not to embarrass the team, yes?”

Because the gods clearly thought that Lirin harassing him about his non-existent love life wasn’t enough punishment, the game went absolutely shitty for the first half. Goku didn’t even want to look at the scoreboard, afraid that he’d completely lose his motivation to keep playing. By the beginning of the break, Nataku had already slipped into that zone where he’s scarily quiet and concentrated.

When the second half started, Goku kept half his own concentration on the ball and the other half on the noise of the crowd. He was tired, but the fans screaming their team name gave him the strength to keep running. He felt himself following in Nataku’s footsteps, entering that headspace where there was nothing but him and the ball, and the fierce joy that came with scoring a goal.

In the end, the lost by only one point, which was way better than their standing at the beginning.

Goku took off his jersey and was about to hand it over to the nearest member of the opposing team when he felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned around and came face to face with the other team’s goalkeeper. He was tall and buff, and Goku had secretly thought that he was goalkeeper because he could probably block the ball just because he was so huge—until he’d actually seen the man in action.

“I’d be honored if you would exchange jerseys with me,” the goalkeeper said.

“Sure!” Goku tried to remember his name. He looked familiar, but he didn’t appear in any commercials or advertisements.

“Gat.” He held out the jersey to Goku. “You were a formidable opponent.”

Goku took the jersey and handed Gat his own. “Thanks! You were a great goalie. You even managed to block most of my kicks.” He blinked, only now registering Gat’s bare torso. “ _Whoa._ You’ve got really amazing muscles!” He could barely stop himself from feeling exactly how firm Gat’s pecs were. “Do you work out a lot? What’s your training like? I’ve always wanted muscles like yours!”

Gat blinked at him before he gave Goku a quick outline of his workout regimen. Goku wished that he had something to take down notes with. Gat’s build was just _awesome_ , and despite all his attempts at bulking up, he’d never been able to approach the level of muscle Gat had.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go,” Gat said. Out of the corner of his eye, Goku saw the other players begin to trail off of the field.

“Thanks! We should totally meet up some time and hang out!” Goku waved at Gat as he ran to catch up with his team. Nataku was trailing behind the others, waiting for him, and Goku slowed down to a walk as soon as he was beside him.

“What was that all about?” Nataku asked, eyes narrowed.

“Huh?” Goku shrugged. “We just exchanged jerseys and I asked him about his training.” He tried not to bounce in glee, but failed. “Did you see how buff he was?”

*****

Nataku didn’t know what to do. He felt stupidly jealous whenever Goku talked about Gat, or hung out with Gat, or mentioned Gat. At this point, Nataku was pretty sure that if Goku even breathed the same air as Gat, he’d internally flip his shit.

Because Gat was tall and ridiculously buff and looked like he’d stepped right out of one of Goku’s bodybuilding magazines. If Goku were going to start playing for the other team, it would probably be because of a guy like Gat.

Who looked nothing like Nataku.

He’d realized how much trouble he was in last night when he’d spent an hour glaring at the text he’d gotten from Goku (Sorry can’t hang out tomorrow :( Gonna go look at weights with Gat). Nataku needed to talk to someone about how messed up he felt, but as far as friends went, he didn’t have many outside of the team. And while he genuinely liked his teammates, he just couldn’t bring himself to ask any of them for advice. Especially since his problem was that he was confused about his feelings for Goku. The guys would just laugh themselves sick and then tell him to suck it up. Or suck Goku. They could be immature jerks.

Nataku sighed. Behind him, Shien paused for a moment before he went back to trimming Nataku’s hair. “Is everything alright?” he asked softly.

Nataku wanted to say that nothing was wrong, but he hesitated. Shien had been his barber for a couple of years now and considering how fast his hair grew and how often he was in for a trim, plus the fact that Shien’s place was where Li Touten sent Nataku every time he had to get cleaned up for a major event, Nataku supposed that he and Shien were on good terms.

They’d never really spoken about anything too deep or important, though they talked about random stuff often enough, but Shien had a calm and quiet personality that put Nataku at ease. At the very least, Nataku knew that Shien wouldn’t go around sharing what Nataku told him with other people.

And Nataku really needed to tell someone about his internal crisis or else he’d explode.

“If you had a friend,” he began slowly, trying not to accidentally meet Shien’s eyes in the mirror. “And you’ve been friends for a long time …”

“And?” Shien prompted.

“What would you do?” Nataku finished in a rush. “What would you do if you think you might like your friend as more than just a friend?”

The steady snick-snick of the scissors paused again before resuming. “I would wait for the right moment, but I would tell my friend.” Shien gently tilted Nataku’s head forward. “There are things that shouldn’t be kept hidden. If they are, they have a tendency to come out at the worst times.”

Nataku was quiet for a while, letting Shien’s words roll around in his head. “Thanks, Shien.”

In the mirror, he saw Shien nod. “It’s no problem.” Shien gave his shoulder a pat before removing the smock Nataku was wearing. “Is this about Goku? I thought you and he were already in a relationship.”

Nataku wished the ground would swallow him up. “Why does everyone think we’re dating? We’re not!”

Shien began putting away his tools. “But you would like to?”

“Yeah, but—”

“If both of you and Goku are single, and you’re interested, I don’t see why you can’t ask him out.”

“But what if it doesn’t work out?” Nataku huffed in frustration. “What if everything’s awkward afterwards?”

Shien unplugged the hairdryer and began to wind up the cord. “Then you simply have to approach the situation in the best way possible, given your current resources. Take stock of your enemy’s weaknesses and exploit them.” Nataku blinked at him. “You’re at an advantage since you’ve known Goku for so long. Use your knowledge to set up the optimum scenario where the conditions are favorable towards the acceptance of your confession.”

Even if the way Shien talked made it sound like he was talking more about war games instead of professing possible undying love to a long-time friend, Nataku could see the logic. Kinda. As cheesy as it sounded, wasn’t there a song about love being a warzone or something?

“Thanks. Again,” he said.

“Like I said—it’s no problem.”

*****

Lirin sat on the couch, legs crossed, waiting for his reaction.

 _SOCCER SUPERSTARS DATING!?_ The headline took up the entire upper right corner of the magazine cover, the letters bold and red. In slightly smaller font beneath it, _Li Nataku and Son Goku seen walking out of a store together with linked arms!_

Konzen was going to murder him in his sleep.

Goku practically threw the magazine at Lirin’s head. Which was probably not such a good idea since she’d been kind enough to inform him what was happening, but he was well on his way to freaking out and she caught the magazine without any effort anyway.

“Hey, don’t kill the messenger!” she snapped. “It’s not my fault everyone thinks you’re screwing each other’s brains out.”

Goku wanted to rip his hair out. “But we’re not!”

“Then take it as a sign and let him have your ass!” When Goku just spluttered at her, she shrugged. “If people are gonna give you shit for something, might as well be for something you’re actually doing.” She raised an eyebrow. “And speaking of doing—”

Goku flopped down beside Lirin, ignoring her muttered, “Drama queen,” comment.

“I don’t even know if Nataku’s into relationships!” Goku whined. “What if he’s ace?”

“What if he’s not? You’ll never know unless you actually ask.” Lirin attempted to smother him with a throw pillow. “What happened to your balls? Did I accidentally take them with me when we broke up?”

“You’re not helping!”

“I am! I’m telling you to go and ask him out on a date. If he says no, then the end. Move on.”

Goku looked up at her from under the pillow. “If he says no, then you need to make sure I don’t die from shame.”

*****

“Nataku. What is the meaning of this?”

Nataku was fucked. Li Touten yelled and gestured wildly when he was angry. When he was beyond angry and in “apoplectic with rage” territory, that was when he was quiet and intense. (Nataku supposed he had to get his game face from somewhere.)

He looked at the magazine that Li Touten had placed on the table in front of him. He barely read the headline, focusing instead on the picture splashed across the front. In it, he and Goku had just stepped outside of a convenience store where they’d stopped to buy some snacks. His hand was in the crook of Goku’s elbow.

“Dad, this isn’t what it looks like.” Nataku winced; he sounded like a cliché. “There were some kids skateboarding on the sidewalk and they almost knocked Goku over. I just pulled him out of the way.” Nataku glanced at the magazine. Whoever had snapped the photo had some damn good timing.

The phone started ringing before Li Touten could say anything. He gave Nataku a stern look. “We will be discussing this further,” he snapped. He quickly left the room to go answer the phone.

*****

The thing about Konzen was that it didn’t matter who Goku was dating; he hated everyone equally. It didn’t matter if Konzen didn’t mind the person before they hooked up with Goku or if he liked them after the break up. Nobody was ever good enough, everyone was irritating, and Goku could always do better.

But even if Konzen’s reaction to the whole misunderstanding about Nataku was pretty much his reaction when he found out Goku was dating Lirin (and his reaction when he found out about Pippi), that didn’t make it any less terrifying.

The phone was less than an inch from Goku’s face, the browser app opened to a paparazzi website and zoomed in on the out-of-context photo.

“I can explain!” Goku yelped. Somewhere behind the phone, Konzen’s eyes were probably narrowing in suspicion. The phone moved even closer. Goku thought he could start making out the individual pixels on the screen.

“ _Was that entire weekend that he stayed over completely filled with canoodling—_ ”

“Dad, calm down!”

“ _Dating behind my back—_ ”

“We’re not—”

Konzen grabbed his ear and started dragging Goku towards the living room. “You’re going to tell me the truth, you brat!”

“Dad!” Goku flailed, trying to keep his balance.

“You’re not going to be able to whine yourself out of this mess!” He shoved Goku down to sit on the sofa and loomed menacingly in front of him.

Konzen scowled the entire time Goku talked. When Goku was done explaining, Konzen squinted at him, as if he could tell by sight alone if Goku was lying. That usually worked because Goku would break and start telling the truth after just a few seconds, but Goku wasn’t making things up this time.

“If I were gonna lie, I’d come up with something better!” Goku said desperately.

At that, Konzen’s scowl became slightly less murderous. He shoved his phone into his pocket and tsk’ed at Goku. “How many times do I have to tell you to stay away from those goddamn paparazzi?” he snapped.

“Sorry, Dad.” Goku did a mental victory dance. Never mind that he couldn’t exactly stay clear of the paparazzi forever, especially since they usually hid in the bushes and stalked him. Konzen wasn’t threatening to lock him in his room until he was fifty, and that was big enough a win for the day.

*****

Lirin watched Li Touten speed off, the car leaving skid marks on the asphalt of the parking lot. “That was fast.”

Bosatsu watched the quickly shrinking speck of Li Touten’s car disappear into the horizon. “What did you tell him?”

“Said that someone was handing out a shit ton of autographed pictures of Nataku at the mall. You know how he micromanages even the tiniest hint of a publicity event.”

Bosatsu laughed. “That gets him out our hair for now. Let’s get this show on the road.”

*****

Coach Jiroushin was still stuck at home with a fever, so today’s practice was overseen by assistant coach Bosatsu. When they’d asked why it was taking so long for Jiroushin to get better, Bosatsu had sighed dramatically. “It’s a different illness. He seems to be collecting viruses.” Personally, Nataku thought that it was more likely that Bosatsu had Jiroushin tied up somewhere, but who was he to question their weird sex life.

Bosatsu had wandered off after ordering them to run laps around the stadium, but the shrill whistle signaling the end of practice meant they were back from wherever they’d gone off to.

Nataku jogged over to the bench where Li Touten usually stood guard. He blinked in confusion; his stuff was there, but Li Touten was nowhere to be found. He dug his phone out of his bag but there weren’t any messages or missed calls on it.

Li Touten disappearing all of a sudden from practice was weird, something that had never happened before, but Li Touten was an adult and he could take care of himself. And if it meant less nagging and less glares sent in Goku’s direction (Li Touten was still Not Pleased about that magazine cover) then Nataku wasn’t going to start looking for him.

“Hurry up, boys!” Bosatsu shouted. “The sooner you hit the showers, the sooner you can go home and sleep. You’re going to need it for tomorrow’s practice game.”

Nataku grabbed his clothes and towel before he hurried off to the locker room. He didn’t want to be stuck with one of the broken shower heads. He entered the communal shower area after dumping his stuff on the bench in the changing area outside. Nataku managed to snag a decent spot, and quickly started washing off the day’s sweat and dirt off of him. It always took him forever to finish washing his hair. Maybe if he started before everyone else, he could finish around the same time as the rest of the team.

He’d barely started the very delicate and careful process of shampooing when someone rammed into his back, nearly knocking him over. The wet tile floor didn’t help, but he managed to stay on his feet by flailing wildly and screeching a bunch of swearwords.

Nataku turned around to start yelling at whoever was responsible for almost killing him. He snapped his mouth shut when he realized it was Goku. Who was carefully making his way to the shower area’s door and shouting.

“That wasn’t funny, you assholes! Open the door right now!” Goku tried opening the door. When that failed, he kicked it. The door shuddered in its frame, but held. “You could’ve killed us with that prank!”

Nataku walked over to where Goku was attempting to kick in the door. “What the fuck? Did they lock us in?” He tried the doorknob again, ignoring Goku muttering, “I already did that.”

Nataku was beginning to feel claustrophobic. The shower room wasn’t that big; the team had been trying to convince coach Jiroushin to make it bigger so that they didn’t have to shower in shifts or crowd together, but Jiroushin was convinced that it wasn’t necessary.

On the other side of the door, Nataku heard a laugh that was quickly cut off. He pounded on the door. “Let us out!”

The voice that responded was so unexpected, Nataku almost slipped on the wet tile anyway. “You’re not getting out of there until you and Goku do the horizontal tango!”

There was no way in hell that the voice that responded _wasn’t_ Lirin. Nataku whirled around to glare accusingly at Goku—if his ex was involved, he was probably in on the prank too—but Goku was currently doing his best imitation of a landed fish.

“Lirin! What the fuck!” Goku kicked the door again.

“I was getting tired of waiting for you idiots to make a move.” Nataku could practically see Lirin’s trademark mischievous grin. “So I asked assistant coach Bosatsu and the guys for some help.”

The sounds of shuffling feet came from the other side of the door. Unsurprisingly, he could hear Bosatsu’s loud voice clearly, herding the rest of the team away (“Move it! I wasn’t kidding about the practice game tomorrow.”), almost drowning out Lirin’s laugh. “We’ll be back after maybe half an hour? Should give you enough time to have a heart to heart. Or do the do. Whichever. Have fun!”

The sound of Lirin’s footsteps quickly faded away. Or maybe Nataku’s heart was pounding too loudly for him to hear anything else. He wasn’t really sure. He was horribly aware of how naked he was and, more importantly, how naked _Goku_ was. They’d seen each other in various states of undress before, but they’d never been alone. And locked in a room together.

The silence stretched on between them. Out of the corner of his eye, Nataku could see Goku fidgeting. He couldn’t bring himself to really turn around and face Goku, mostly because he didn’t trust himself with the temptation that was a wet and naked Goku.

Nataku took a deep breath. He was a few months older than Goku so clearly he had to be the mature one in this situation, especially since Goku looked like he was around five seconds away from seriously attempting to kick down the door (using his really sexy and really toned legs).

“We need to—” whatever else Nataku was going to say turned into a loud squawk that he would deny making. He found himself pinned against the nearest wall, firm hands on his shoulders and Goku mouth pressed against his.

Nataku’s initial reaction was to punch Goku in the gut.

Goku stumbled back a handful of steps, doubled over and wheezing. “What … was that … for?” he managed to gasp out.

“You sneak attacked me!” Nataku shouted. “You’re lucky I didn’t knee you in the balls!”

“It was supposed to be, like, a romantic, impulsive gesture!” Goku sputtered.

Nataku resisted the urge to actually go ahead and knee Goku. Maturity. He was mature. “Just because I maybe wanna make out with you, doesn’t mean it’s cool to just spring that on me!” That. Was not what he’d been planning on saying.

Goku’s eyes were so wide, they looked like they’d actually pop out of their sockets. He slowly straightened up and did that really cute thing where he rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment and slowly started turning red. Nataku almost forgave him.

Goku cleared his throat the way he always did before he started trying to sound proper and polite, but ending up babbling anyway. “So if I’d asked you out, you would’ve said yes? I mean, we’ve been best friends since forever and I’ve never seen you go out with anybody so I didn’t know … but Lirin always said that the reason she broke up with me was because I was more into you than I was into her—but I dunno if she was serious about that—and everyone else thinks that we’re already a thing so—”

Nataku took a step forward. Goku immediately snapped his mouth shut. Nataku placed his hands on Goku’s shoulders, unconsciously mimicking what Goku had done earlier. Goku looked like he was about to throw up.

“Wanna go watch a movie on Saturday?” Nataku tried not to squeeze Goku’s shoulders. Now was not the time to start groping his wet best friend. If things went well, there’d be enough time for that later.

Goku frowned. “We do that all the time.”

Nataku raised an eyebrow. “Dude. The only thing couples do that we don’t is have sex.”

Goku was quiet for a few seconds, a thoughtful expression on his face. It was quickly replaced by a grin. “Wanna fix that now?” He put his hands on Nataku’s hips and squeezed.

Nataku mirrored his grin.

*****

“Hurry up,” Lirin giggled. “I think they’re still making out.” She pulled out her phone and opened the camera app.

Bosatsu quickly unlocked the door, poked their head into the shower, and was greeted by the sight of Nataku with his tongue down Goku’s throat.

“Please don’t stop on my account,” Bosatsu said. “Go on.”

Goku shrieked. Nataku finally slipped and fell flat on his ass.

*****

Goku was not looking forward to telling Konzen that he and Nataku were dating, especially after he’d convinced Konzen that they weren’t. He went back and forth between coming clean and putting it off, until Konzen walked in on Nataku giving Goku a “just do it, you idiot” kiss.

Everyone froze in place. Konzen’s face was completely blank, but the edges of his lips were turning white from how tightly he was pressing them together. He made a sharp gesture, pointing at the sofa, and Goku and Nataku scrambled to sit down on it.

Konzen paced back and forth in front of them. “Explain,” he said shortly.

“It’s actually kinda funny,” Goku said, laughing nervously. “But we got together _after_ that whole thing with the magazine. Really. Promise.”

Konzen narrowed his eyes at them, and Goku found himself spilling the details on Lirin’s plan to lock them together in the shower room (minus the part where he and Nataku had made out). “I was planning on telling you, I was just figuring out how to do it …” Goku said softly, picking at a loose thread on the hem of his shirt.

Nataku reached over to take Goku’s hand and give it a comforting squeeze. Goku looked up and smiled at him. The moment was cut off when Konzen snorted.

“Stop before I throw up,” he said, deadpan. Goku blinked up at him.

Konzen wasn’t yelling or shouting, and he wasn’t trying to throw Nataku out of the house. He actually just looked resigned. He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “I’m more angry about the fact that you’ve kept this from me. But that doesn’t mean I want to see you being disgustingly sappy about it.”

Goku blinked some more. “You’re not mad? But all those other times—”

“You’re old enough to date now.”

“I went out with Lirin when I was seventeen!”

The scowl Konzen directed at him made it pretty clear that seventeen was still practically a baby in his opinion.

Nataku slapped a hand over Goku’s mouth to keep him from saying anything else. “Thank you so much for your blessing,” he said, smiling.

Konzen just snorted again, but walked out of the living room without smacking either of them upside the head.

Goku waited until he was sure that Konzen was gone before he shoved Nataku’s hand away from his mouth. “Blessing?” he choked out, managing not to laugh. “Dude, what?”

Nataku poked his side. “I was taught manners when I was growing up. Dunno about you.”

Goku poked Nataku’s cheek in retaliation and things quickly descended into an all-out tickle war. Konzen marched back into the living room and threw them out of the house, his shouts heard along the entire street.

“I said I was okay with you dating—not ruining the brand new couch with your fucking dirty shoes!”

*****

Nataku tried to stand up straight underneath his father’s piercing gaze. Nataku wouldn’t give up his relationship with Goku, not when he finally had it, even if Li Touten never gave his approval, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want his dad to be okay with it. Their lives would be so much easier if Li Touten accepted that they were going out.

“Dad?” Nataku asked tentatively. It had been three excruciating minutes since Nataku had finished explaining, and Li Touten hadn’t said a single word. Not for the first time, Nataku wished that Goku were with him; Sanzo had apparently gotten into an accident while doing a shoot and Goku and Konzen had gone to visit him at the hospital.

The sound of Nataku’s voice seemed to snap Li Touten out of his contemplation and he sighed. “I find this arrangement acceptable,” Li Touten said simply. He waved a hand at Nataku’s shocked expression. “I have done some research. Ever since that paparazzi magazine with the false headline came out, your name has had a sharp spike in Internet search queries. There has also been additional traffic to your official online accounts, and your agent received multiple messages from various organizations about you and Goku speaking at various locations about being gay and in professional sports.”

Being used to the way his dad’s mind worked, it only took Nataku a few seconds to understand what Li Touten was getting at. “Any publicity is good publicity.”

“You need to make an official announcement about your relationship status. We shall coordinate this with your agent tomorrow.” Li Touten stood up. “For now, I have a conference call with a possible media outlet regarding the initial press release.” He nodded once at Nataku, and walked out of the room.

Nataku grabbed his phone and quickly typed out a message to send to Goku. You aren’t gonna believe this!

What??? Did he disown you???

Dad’s actually okay with it o_o He wants to have a press con and announce it.

WTF

“Nataku!” Li Touten called from the hallway.

Nataku almost dropped his phone in surprise. “Yes, Dad?”

“Inform your paramour that I expect him and his father to join us in our meeting with your agent tomorrow.”

Nataku blanched. Konzen and Li Touten in one room for a prolonged period of time? No way that meeting was going to go well.

*****

It was only two hours before the big announcement (“They make it sound like we’re getting married,” Goku huffed) and Nataku and Goku were barricaded in Goku’s room. It wasn’t like they nervous or anything, but they could really be spending their time doing much more interesting things.

Goku sneaked a peek at his phone. Seriously, where the hell are you guys??? He plopped it back down on the bedside table before reaching for the lube. Lirin could wait a bit longer for a reply.


End file.
